The Bright Side History – The Benefits of Global Warming – @midnight with Chris Hardwick


We all know that global warming
is perhaps the biggest threat facing humanity
over the next 50 years, but it’s not all bad news
according to Yahoo. According to a recent study, rising temperatures
will actually be good for getting folks in
North Dakota out of the house. You never even thought
about that part of it. -(applause and cheering)
-We never even thought about it. You, selfish,
underwater Hawaiians, it’s not all about you
all of the time! ORLANDO JONES:
Yeah. -What about North Dakota?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Yeah. For some people,
global warming is a good thing. There are at least
40 meth-addicted frackers and a dozen or so
buffalo veterinarians who stand to benefit from it being a little nicer
outside for once. -So maybe open your (bleep)
minds… -(applause, cheering) …and think of some of the
benefits of global warming. I mean sure, sure, the mosquito
population will skyrocket and give most of the southern
hemisphere super Ebola, but for a lucky few, they’ll get
to sit out on their porch on a balmy February night
in North Dakota and get radiated by the sunset
with their pet polar bear who now will look like this, -and great, I say. Fun.
-(laughter, applause) That’s what they look like
when you shave them. -Every polar bear.
-(cheers and applause) Polar bears look all scary, but underneath,
just a little wiener. -Just…
-(laughter) So, comedians, I’ve listed
a couple, but I’m sure there are a lot more ways to approach this
very optimistically. What are some other benefits
of global warming? -Orlan… I’m sorry. Nimesh.
-Donald Trump will spend his winters
in Swamp Mar-a-Lago. -HARDWICK: Yes. Points.
Very good. -(laughter) -(applause and cheering)
-Orlando. Well, if it’s hot as balls, we know nudist colonies
are gonna be lit. -HARDWICK: All right. Points.
-(laughter) -Yeah. -Very good. -Lit!
-(applause and cheering) -Arden.
-Um, it’ll only take 15 minutes to fly
from coast to coast, Chris. -HARDWICK: Yes.
-(laughter) -Points.
-Yes! -Finally. In-flight movie’s
just gonna be a clip -of the Cash Me Outside Girl.
-HARDWICK: Nope. -(laughter)

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